Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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