he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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