Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
