Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize