My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
