This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I could fuck to npr.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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