The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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