I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
