I need help removing her.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
