erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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