When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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