Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
