her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
