Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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