Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
