I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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