She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
