Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
