in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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