There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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