ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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