i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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