Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
why do cheetos always look like penises
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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