Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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