I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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