Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
