I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
