Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
