Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Don't EVER smell your tampon
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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