She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize