Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
