I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
