We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
