that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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