just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
