You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
