Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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