ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
