she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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