I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
