Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
