So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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