If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
