i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
ugly people sure do ruin things
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
