trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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