Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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