Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
We named our party play list daddy issues
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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