How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
