It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
