I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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