shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
