Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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