i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
