If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
