i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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