I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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