Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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