i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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